I have been rushing for the last several weeks and my schedule seemed so full even on weekends. I would leave the house before sunrise and come home hours after dinner. Even on the holidays I found myself piling up things to do and a huge effort to stick with my timetAble became a feat. I am being pushed out of my comfort zone and I can still feel the urge of being pushed forward. I want to stop and just breath but there is no time. I need to keep going. Big Guy, in everything that I do, guide me. I am sorry if I am running out of time to do other things that matter.
Expecting the best
Its the last day of the year of faith. I think its time that I let go. The journey to healing is not yet over. I kept on thinking I am stuck but looking back, a year ago I was in a totally different situation in other aspects of my life. I would like to think I am at the right place because things are falling into place. It does take a lot of time and effort but Big Guy has lined up the right people and opportunities. I trust that better days will bring me more happiness and joy. I discovered a new term "emotional muscle". I was on my usual weekend morning walk with my canine when I overheard a man calling his wife asking how she is. That little flinch of his emotional muscle can bring so much assurance to a neglected soul.
I've been incredibly busy yet things are falling into place. I was driving home when I saw the words written at the back of the truck in front of me: God is Good. I looked to my right and a huge billboard with the word: Hope. Better days ahead! Shower of blessings!
Power of believing
I dont know why I kept on seeing passages or quotes about new beginnings or a new heart. Today I saw quotes about believing. I believe that Big Guy has something wonderful in store for me. I am ready for a new beginning. I believe in happiness and joy. More happiness. More joy.
Something wonderful is about to happen
Better days ahead! ☺ Ready for your surprises, Big Guy!
I was feeling a bit under the weather lately. I think I am spreading myself too thin. It became a habit. But in this way I became more confident to do things alone or by myself. In a way I became more of an introvert yet I get to meet and make new friends. I became a master in striking a conversation effortlessly, without a hint of awkwardness. I am not sure if its because I feel drained or I just developed that kind of ummm thing. Everyone has been busy with helping out, I hope they are sincere in helping out or they just want to get into the fad. Whatever it is, if the end result is helping people out, then what these helpers feel doesnt matter. Ok Big Guy, surprise me with your miracle/s. I am looking forward to it.
I was craving for some japanese donuts and even if I was already behind my schedule, I went ahead and took a detour for my donuts. Rats! No parking. I was too lazy to make a U-turn so I turned on one of the corner streets, hoping my instincts will guide me. It was a narrow and crowded street. There were too many dogs, cars parked on both sides of the road and kids everywhere. I drove carefully. Then I glanced on my left and saw this sign: God doesnt just heal your heart, he gives you a new one. (Not the exact words). I used these words in google and searched for it then the first hit: wait.
I have seen the word "genesis" a few times last night? Is this a sign of a new beginning? I received a request from a person in my past. I contemplated for a few seconds if I still want anything to do with him after all for so many years he refused to talk to me, making me feel I committed a sin against him. We were so young then, and I was overwhelmed with the circumstances. He interpreted my confusion for something else and felt offended and hurt. I tried to talk to him about it, but he didnt want to assuring me things were ok. I knew better than to push it. I bit my tongue and went my way. I almost forgot about him until now. He looked older and like most guys, chubbier. Life has treated him well. And I am grateful we are ok. Not like before but we are ok.
I planned to help out in the repacking of the relief goods since yesterday. I even came up with a list of errands so as to maximize my time. Sent out inquiries as to the venue of the repacking centers and only one responded. Right after work I ordered a box of crackers and was told to come back for it after 30 minutes. I grabbed a bite to eat and bought tickets for the play. Went back for the box and was told they dont have it. I was thisclose to blowing my top off but hey the situation wont get better and this is for charity so I bit my tongue and came up with an alternative. The bagger actually told me he was amazed I didnt get angry. I myseld was surprised. I proceeded to the venue and repacked goods for 3 hours. The process was fast. I was actually expecting I will feel out of place but I guess the desire to help out was enough to make us feel at ease with each other. I am exhausted but I feel fulfilled.
Realization about letting go