Waiting and abundance
I was reading an article about a girl who dreamed about having an album and then a concert but after more than ten years in the music industry and 11 months after an audition, she received an email informing her she got a part in a famous play in London. It was something she did not expect and was way more than what she expected. I guess if we wait with faith and patience, we can receive an abundance of blessings. We will be overtaken by it. I have always taken note of bible passages about these virtues. Something to fuel me and continuously remind me to wait, hold on and keep going. My endeavor for now for myself is a change of heart and a change of mind, that it will conform to what HE wants for me. It is a struggle. Sometimes I can feel the pain and longing. And so I go back to this: But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day! (Habakkuk 2:3 TLB).
If he doesnt have time for Big Guy, how can you expect him to have time for you?
A memory of returning the favor
We were on our 14th day in the hospital. My father was finally transferred to a regular room from the ICU but he was still not allowed to move that much. It was late in the afternoon, I was seated near his bed and was holding his hand. He was mumbling because of the medicine they gave him. It was the side effect, the doctor says. He was just there clutching my hand and I was praying. My father has always been a prayerful man, a trait that my mother liked about him. While holding his hand, a memory came back. In the same hospital, more than 2 decades ago, I was crying because the IV needle in my right hand was throbbing. I was sniffling and I was crying in pain. My father then pushed the sofa he was sitting on and got my hand and ever so gently rubbed the area around the needle, as if to while away the pain. I fell asleep with him holding my hand. I woke up to the pain and started crying again, he started rubbing the area around the needle once again. This went on all through out the night while I hear him pray. I guess more than 2 decades later, Big Guy gave me the opportunity to return the favor. Life has a way of doing that to us.
change of mind and change of heart
Big Guy. I need help for a change of mind and change of heart. Its time. Thank you in advance.
A Valentine's day memory
It was in 5th grade. The teacher was busy fixing the assignment and as usual the kids were noisy, absorbed in their conversations and rowdiness. Then a knock on the door. There was a sudden silence, all gaze stared at the door. "Delivery for Stefshuman" said the delivery man. I felt my face became hot with the creeping blush. "Uyyyyyy.... Flowers..." chanted by the rest of the class. I stood up and hurried to the door and tried my best to cram the roses inside my bag. It only took a few minutes for the usual chatter to ensue but it felt like an eternity. I then had a talk with the sender of the roses and told him not to ever embarass me again. He just laughed. Papa just laughed. The next year, I received flowers at home. Thanks for the roses, Papa.
Faith and Patience
Hebrews 6:12 : We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.
Faith and Patience are two very important virtues I should learn to hold on to. There are constant reminders of how these two virtues can bring abundant joy and blessings. My mother has been experiencing some problems with her right eye. She went to an eye doctor, she was not satisfied with the diagnosis and went to a second doctor who gave a different diagnosis. Still not satisfied, she went to a third doctor. She waited for three hours, she was the 16th patient that day. It was a tiring day for the both of us, yet we waited. I was getting bored and anxious. But she remained calm and composed, confident that the wait will be worth it. She immediately felt calm within five minutes of interacting with the physician. She decided to have her surgery with this doctor, and what came the biggest and most pleasant surprise is that, this doctor will be operating on her with the latest machine with the least costs (more than half the costs of the previous doctors). My mom was beaming and I was at awe. Indeed, the wait was not easy, we had to go to two doctors, waited for hours yet the wait was absolutely worth it. Big Guy, what do you want me to learn from this? Oh, and thank you.
I thought for a long time that expecting something was a mistake, expecting to be appreciated, to feel loved and to actually feel important. For several months, I made the mistake of thinking I should have just settled and should have not expected. On this first day of the year, I have vowed never to settle for anything less. Even if I feel that time is not on my side, I felt the need to expect more from life, the best from myself and expect more blessings. To shrug away any disappointments and learn how to pick myself up and choose to move forward and stay in faith that better things are coming. All these challenges are mere inconveniences that may slow me down to teach me a thing or two yet I know I can surpass it. Its time. Time to expect the best out of life and not to settle. If someone did me wrong or chose to hurt me, I should learn not to dwell on the pain of such loss or shortcoming, instead I should learn to dust myself off any negativity and expect the Big Guy to just take care of it for me. Lets keep the faith. I am now ready for my new heart, Big Guy! Shower me with your wonderful blessings. I am now expecting the unexpected abundance of your grace and blessings. I am thanking you in advance. I am claiming your generosity and goodness. Again, thank you.
A Blessed Christmas to one and all. Took 2 days off from work and just rested. It feels odd to not do anything yet I still feel tired. I guess this is the time to be thankful for what one has received or blessed with and not hoping for something that has yet to happen. Happy vibes on this season of joy.
Barely felt the holidays
I almost fell into that pit of self pity but I was thrown in a path that never gave me time to be sad nor depressed. I have been incredibly busy. I do not even have the time to think things over all I know is that I need to get things done. It took me herculean effort to manage my time and for things to fit my schedule. I still wonder how it all falls into place so I guess Big Guy is behind it all. A lot has changed. Yes, I still think about the setback but there is so much more I need to prepare for. Staying put is simply not an option. Life is giving me a push and I am not in the position to choose to wallow and be depressed. For someone who finds it difficult to decide, circumstances are making the choices for me. I know Big Guy will guide me and provide me the wisdom to do the right thing. Faith and patience and hope that the better days are coming.
I have been rushing for the last several weeks and my schedule seemed so full even on weekends. I would leave the house before sunrise and come home hours after dinner. Even on the holidays I found myself piling up things to do and a huge effort to stick with my timetAble became a feat. I am being pushed out of my comfort zone and I can still feel the urge of being pushed forward. I want to stop and just breath but there is no time. I need to keep going. Big Guy, in everything that I do, guide me. I am sorry if I am running out of time to do other things that matter.